Yesterday was a triumphant day for me.
I drove a car.
I played a game of scrabble.
I have my well-reasoned (or so I believe!) excuses for not learning to drive. I love to walk. Too many cars driven in the world. I just don't want to.
The most honest reason is fear. The idea of being in control of a car is terrifying. The level of concentration required is daunting. Having people watching me while I try to do something tricky is a very unpleasant thought.
But driving seems like a good way of getting some independence.
And it was fun.
I used to play scrabble with mum. Usually I was given advantages like doubling my score. I would lose miserably. I can be a very bad loser.
Games make me feel dumb and grumpy. I have never played scrabble with Alex because I knew I would lose and then be in a foul mood. For some reason (perhaps it was the gin?) last night I felt relaxed enough to play.
I didn't just play a game of scrabble.
I won a game of scrabble.
Today was just as grand.
Clothes shopping without the self-hating. Its a beautiful thing.